And so it begins...

I've started the construction of my book. I'm genuinely excited about this process. I was just going to publish my weight journal, but I think I need to be a bit more in depth with that I do before I can do that, you know? Either way, I'm excited. I want to thank my wonderful mother for offering to help me in the process. Thanks, mom.

Side note: My ankle is getting better, I believe. I can bear more weight on it. I've also been lifting more, which is exciting. I'm not sure when the results will start to show, but it can't be too long. Or maybe it can. I don't know. Either way, I won't give up on it.

My memoir

After long contemplation, I've come to the conclusion of something. While I have a blog, I think I want to document my progress in a larger, more accessible form. I want to write a book. Well, an extensive memoir, I suppose. I know I need to start now, which I will. I will write until I hit my goal size/weight. I feel that doing this will not only help me close a very large (haha, "large." I'm punny) chapter of my life. I'm not sure where to start but I definitely know where I want to go with it. All I have to do is start.

The fear of raising calories...

So. I've been stalled fluctuating in the 190s as you all may know. After consulting with my MFP counterparts (the website I use to track my calories), they've convinced me to bump up my calorie intake. Awesome, right? I should totally be excited. Except...I'm not. It sounds silly, but I'm genuinely hesitant to raise my calories. It's as if mentally, I believe that this will only set me back, you know? But with everything in life, you have to take things as they come and deal with them accordingly. Hopefully this will boost results. <3 I can't give up.

Lazy, lazy, lazy

Well, I DID work out yesterday and I lost .2 pounds so I'm a bit happy about that. I did some light cardio on a bike (I love the bike, but it makes me booty numb) which was enjoyable. PT is becoming progressively better, even if it does hurt a little. I keep intending to go back to strength training, honestly. Though, the fact that I'm confined to one particular style (upper body) bothers me. However, I will do what needs to be done. In fact, I took someone's idea and I plan to incorporate it into my work out plan.

Voila:

• 2x upper body pulling per week (rows, pull-ups, that sort of thing)
• 2x upper body pressing per week (bench press, pushups, dips)
• A nice excuse to hammer the upper body for a bit

And

1) 1 leg balance drill – 10×2 (as long as I can hold, not very long right now)

2) Wall ankle mobilizations – 10×2 per side (these are great, even if you are fully healthy)

**This is for ankle strengthening**

Closure..

Yesterday afternoon, I delivered 2 items to Dale which I think officially closes that chapter in my life. I gave him back a ring he gave me and a GPS. I sincerely apologized for the awful things I said and hopefully from here I can move forward.

Also: I have decided, after long deliberation, I would like to become a pescetarian or vegetarian (but the healthy kind, not the "I'm-Gonna-Eat-Everything-I-See-That-Doesn't-Contain-Meat" kind). I've been wanting to do this for a while and I've have a few feeble attempts. But they were just, well, attempts. I actually want to commit to this. (:

I also took the time to figure out why I want to lose weight. Since I've had limited mobility due to my ankle, it has given me a chance to think. Some of my reasons may be superficial, but hey, they're mine. The reasons go as follows:
1) Health: My family has a history of health problems related to poor diet and I don't want to follow the same path.
2) College major: I (currently) aspire to be a nutritionist and athletic trainer. I should be an example.
3) Acceptance: Now, I know what you're thinking, but it isn't to be accepted by others. I've NEVER been comfortable in my own skin and while confidence comes from within, I feel that learning to love myself, both physically and emotionally, would be a life changing experience.
4) Clothes and money: Okay, lemme break it down: The larger the clothes are, the more a person pays because of added fabric. Losing weight will save me money, as well as finding me some new clothes.

Someone told me that my blog isn't hitting the "goal" of it. By that I mean, they don't believe it focuses on weight loss, but other factors. This post is an effort to change that. (: